Remembering You
by nfl19
Summary: Kurt passes away in a car accident, and Blaine is left helpless and broken.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Glee is not something that is owned by me, and if it was, the only reason you would watch it would to be to remove something horrid from your mind and replace it with something even more terrifying. I leave the brilliance up to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk, and the rights to the brilliance to Fox.**

It was hot. Sunny, August days are always hot, but something seemed to make it scorching that day. It could have something to do with the fact that Blaine was wearing a suit, he didn't know. Nor did he care.

Kurt was dead.

Kurt was dead and Blaine might as well have been, too, because his whole world had been ripped from him. It didn't matter that whoever was driving that car had been put in jail, or that Blaine's boss had given him that promotion, because he felt so bad. Blaine was dead to the world; his life was over. And that beautiful baby girl they had both treasured so much would grow up alone, without either father there to love her.

A hundred or so people sat with him, in rows of black, metal chairs with white cushions placed in a grassy field. An isle was between the chairs, leading up to a black podium where Burt Hummel was currently standing. Everyone watched him in silence, and he began to speak.

"Hi," he stared. Blaine smiled to himself at Burt's attempts to lighten the mood. "Thank you all for coming. Kurt Hummel touched a lot of people, maybe just for a minute or two, but he touched them enough that they could come to his funeral." Burt choked on the last word, but somehow found the strength to keep reciting the speech that he knew by heart.

"When a person dies, they tell you to celebrate their life, not mourn their death. Not to cry because it's over, but to smile because it happened. Sometimes… sometimes I find myself a little overwhelmed, because there was so much about Kurt that we can celebrate. We can start with the most obvious things, like his impeccable fashion sense. I've seen many people saved from the crime that is poor fashion sense because of him." Burt glanced at Carole, and then returned his eyes to the audience. "Or the way he said exactly what he wanted. Sometimes it was hurtful, I'll admit that, but at least you knew he was never lying to you." Burt's voice cracked then, and he clutched the podium for support, trying to keep the tears from falling down his cheeks.

Blaine sensed that the man wouldn't be able to go on for much longer, so he stood up, and asked Rachel Berry, the woman sitting on his right, to hold the one-year-old sitting in his lap. He scooted past people and worked his way left, into the isle where he stepped forward to help his father-in-law.

"May I?" Blaine asked, and indicated to the sheet of paper resting on the podium. Burt nodded and took a step back, allowing Blaine to pick up that sheet of paper, and begin reading where Burt left off.

"'But I like to think about the things that you wouldn't notice if you'd only been talking to him for five minutes. Like how brave he could be," Blaine's voice shook. He looked at Burt, who was standing behind him, and then turned back to the audience. He set the paper down, starting his own, unplanned obituary. Burt didn't seem to mind.

"I remember one time where Kurt and I were eating lunch at our old High School. It was a tradition at McKinley that the losers would get slushies thrown at them. So, of course, on my third day at school there, a cherry one was poured down my back." Blaine closed his eyes and sniffed back tears. He was not going to cry, not when talking about Kurt.

"Kurt hadn't really ever told one of the bullies there that it wasn't okay. You just didn't _do_ that. But h-he stood up, right then and there, and he said. '_Enough. _You can do this to me, you can do this to Jacob… Hell, you can do it to Rachel for all I care.' I remember Rachel had looked terrified." Somewhere in the audience, Rachel smiled. "And he said, 'But. Do. Not. Do this to the new kid just because he's dating _me._' And the kid who had slushied me said something along the lines of 'What are you going to do about it, lady lips?' and Kurt picked up his ranch dressing," Blaine was using had motions now to tell his story. "Dipped his fingers in it, and smeared it all over that guy." The audience laughed. "On his face, his football jacket, his hair. And when he was done, he grabbed my wrist and led me to the bathroom to get cleaned up."

Blaine smiled to himself. He recalled Kurt's face as he was finger-painting Azimio. His eyes had been dotted with flames, but a smile was curved onto his lips. It was the most amazing thing Blaine had ever seen. It was the only thing that really kept him going during his senior year of high school, that look. That feeling of empowerment that took over his body.

"That was the moment that I knew…" Blaine continued. "That I knew he was the only one I'd want to spend the rest of my life with." He glanced longingly at Kurt's coffin. "That dream doesn't seem so real anymore, does it?" He murmured.

He was ready to finish this. He had told his bit, and there was nothing more to be said from him. "Kurt was someone I'll always remember. I don't think anyone could forget someone as compassionate and beautiful as he was." Blaine turned back to Kurt's father. "I'll let you finish, Mr. Hummel," he said, and stepped off the podium, just as a lone cloud entered the blue sky.

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><p><strong>Hi. So, thank you for taking the time to read this fic. Obviously, it's really sad, so I'm not going to add my usual humor in the AN's. I'm sorry that Kurt is dead. Don't get me wrong, I love him. He's my favorite character, but what would life be like for Blaine if Kurt was gone? I had to write it down somewhere, and FanFiction was that place. This is going to be about a 10 chapter story, but it could vary. Yes, I am aware that I should probably be working on my other fic, My Brother Blaine, since I've taken a three month hiatus from that, but I can't write that right now. Anything I would produce would be the biggest piece of crap the world has ever seen. New chapters will be up soon, though. Once again, thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Glee is not mine, not in any dimension whatsoever. No matter how many times I wish.**

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><p>Burt Hummel didn't have much to say after Blaine returned to his seat. He had nothing to say at all, really. You could say Blaine had stolen his thunder, but it was more than that. Honestly, he really didn't know if he could even speak. Instead, he nodded and returned to his seat, too shaken to continue.<p>

Finn Hudson was the next one to speak about Kurt. No matter how hard he tried, Blaine barely listened. His mind drifted back to happier times.

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><p><em>They were lying in the tall, green grass in some mysterious place that Blaine had found while hiking one day. He had insisted that Kurt come back with him. There was something about the place that Blaine couldn't put his finger on, but he felt something while he was there, something similar to the way he felt around Kurt.<em>

_So, a week later, Kurt found himself carrying a picnic basket, following Blaine through the woods._

_When they arrived to this clearing, Kurt surprised even himself. He carefully set the basket down and proceeded to plop himself in the middle of the grassy area, inhaling every scent he could and feeling the soft plants beneath him. He opened his eyes (that he strangely didn't know he had closed) when he felt a familiar body sit close beside him. Blaine had even remembered to bring the basket with him when he went over._

"_Like it?" Blaine asked._

"_Like? Love would be a more appropriate word, I think."_

"_I'm glad," Blaine told him as he handed his boyfriend a sandwich. "I was hoping it would be worthwhile if you're doing this with me instead of doing your Spanish homework."_

"_I don't thing Mr. Schue's going to fail me," Kurt replied, and took a small bite of his turkey on wheat._

_Blaine sighed and leaned back in the grass, pulling Kurt with him. They stared up at the clouds for a while, trying to decide which shapes they were in. Kurt once saw one that had an uncanny resemblance to Blaine's eyebrows, and they had been on the lookout for triangular clouds ever since._

_Blaine turned his head to stare at Kurt's profile. That wasn't a bad thing was it? Looking at your boyfriend while he thought you were watching clouds. Blaine could care less, anyways, seeing as he was so entranced by the way this particular boy's nose curved up and how his lips were shining in the sun._

_Kurt seemed to feel eyes on him, and he looked at Blaine. "What?" he asked._

"_I love you."_

_Kurt smiled and turned his body so that it was completely facing Blaine. "I love __**you**__."_

_And since the timing was so perfect, and the setting was so beautiful, Blaine moved forward and kissed Kurt sweetly._

_Kurt moved his hand to the back of Blaine's neck to play with the curls there as he kissed back. Soon enough, they pulled away from each other's lips, Kurt still fiddling with Blaine's hair._

_Blaine propped himself up on his elbows so he was towering over his boyfriend. _"A welcome change," _he thought._

"_Promise me one little thing?" the older boy asked._

"_What's that?"_

"_Never leave me," he said._

"_That's one thing you don't have to worry about," Kurt replied, and pulled him in for another kiss._

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><p>Blaine was pulled out of his haze when the pastor stood up to the podium and began to speak.<p>

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><p><strong>Hello again, dear readers. One thing you may notice about this story is that some things are a little off. That's because I've never been to a funeral like this before. I've been to a funeral, but not how it is described next chapter. And I don't do my research. I should, but I don't. <strong>

**I have a feeling that all chapters in this fic are going to be very short. It works better that way and allows me to update sooner. Sorry if you were expecting more.**

**Thank you for reading, and I encourage you to review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I've updated. But here's Chapter 3.**

**Disclaimer: I watch the show, I listen to the music, I write the FanFiction, but I still do not own Glee.**

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><p>Kurt's funeral went on. Blaine made it somehow through the hours alone at the community church, the burial of his husband's ashes, speaking to old friends about this beautiful, amazing man. He didn't know how, but he survived.<p>

Tears were shed. Blaine wouldn't deny that. He let them fall from his eyes and make glistening paths down his face, not even bothering to wipe them away. These tears were for Kurt; there was no shame in shedding them.

At one point, Blaine found himself sitting at a table with all of New Directions and Kurt's parents, during the reception. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours. It was probably only minutes. No-one cared, really.

It was Finn who eventually pulled them out of the numb haze.

"I remember one time when I mistook Kurt's hairspray for Febreze," he started, and the others looked up, the expressions of shock on their faces fading as soft smiles formed on their lips. It was absolutely something Finn would do, and it was absolutely something that Kurt would be enraged about. "I took a… y'know… I pooped and it smelled _really_ bad and so I was looking for some air freshener and there it was, just out in the open. So I took it and I sprayed it _all _over. I'm pretty sure I used half the can. Kurt was so mad. And everything ended up smelling a lot worse, anyway, because of all the hairspray. We had a serious talk about the differences between hair products and air products after."

Blaine was grinning from ear-to-ear now, because he remembered that, too. He remembered the tone of exasperation Kurt used on the phone when they had talked about it one night, and how hard Blaine tried to contain his giggles.

So now it was out there, the first story about Kurt to be told that went around the table and each shared something they remembered about Kurt, and they could've gone on for days, but it was getting late and they all eventually had to leave. Blaine found himself the only one there, accompanied by only Burt.

The two men were standing next to each other, gazing at their surroundings, when Burt decided that their current position was beginning to feel a bit too awkward. And the older man had something to say, too.

"Blaine," he said and the dark-haired man twisted his head to face Kurt's father. "I'm sorry." Blaine looked mortified that Burt was even apologizing, but the older of the two spoke before Blaine could interrupt. "I'm so sorry. You loved him so much. If this is hard for me, I don't know how it must feel for you."

And with that, Blaine – whose gaze had been getting steadily shakier – broke down into wheezy, convulsing sobs in Burt's arms. But Burt would've been content to hold him there forever.

Burt himself had tears running down his cheeks and dripping off his nose, and it didn't even occur to him that Carole was probably outside in the car right now, waiting. He must've known that she had guessed where he was.

He tried to calm Blaine down. He petted his hair and whispered _shhh_ to him until he felt he could do it no more, and he just let Blaine stay there as long as he needed.

That time was up in a matter of minutes. Blaine, who was so practiced at keeping everything bottled inside, had managed to wrap these feelings of loss and loneliness back up, saving them for a different time. Right now Burt needed to get back to his family. But first, just for a moment or two, Blaine wanted to talk.

"I miss him so much," the younger man whispered. It was barely audible to Burt's old ears, but he could still make out the words.

"I miss him too."

"I think he knows we miss him," Blaine revealed. He felt vain and childish, but he felt sure of this, too. "I think he misses us, too, and everyone else, and he's in Heaven waiting for us to join him. He's waiting patiently."

Burt stared at the widower and hoped to God he was right. Oh, he hoped Kurt was safe wherever he went.

"I should go," Burt eventually said, and Blaine nodded in parting. Burt left without another word.

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><p>Blaine dreamt of Kurt that night.<p> 


	4. Please Read

**Hi guys. I know you were expecting an update because I haven't had one in so long but I've thought it over and I just can't do WIPs right now. The past few months have been extremely stressful for me and I've been putting this off for a long time but I'm just not motivated to write anymore. Hopefully I can still do drabbles (and maybe I'll improve as a writer as I go…) and maybe upload them later. I'll be deleting my Fanfiction account (sorry, I'm sorry, I just can't), but you can follow me on tumblr (thickthicketythickface(.)tumblr(.)com) and maybe I'll make a new one or a Livejournal. Until then, I wish you all a happy Valentine's Day and hopefully I'll be up and at it again soon!**


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